Lutos de Amor (Grievances of love): Linear-Nor-Life

The piece is about the performative space of mourning. Through different practices based on western symbolism of mourning such as using black for clothing, plus surfaces and themes, Butoh ash-walking and movement, mourning gets activated at corporeal level in a quasi-directed form. With the action of ash-walking from Butoh dance practices, mourning gets moved onto space and time. It gets transformed into color, wind blowing, water flowing, trees breathing.

Video in collaboration with Clive Vignola

Sound: Sall Lam Toro & Sara Mikelsen

Concept, Direction and Performer: Sall Lam Toro

photo documentation of live performance

Photography by Gergana Kurkulieva

Performed at Gallery Bloody Milk in Aalborg, Denmark, 22nd May 2018

Photo-documentation by Gergana Kurukyuvlieva

Performance Diary Entry for Lutos de Amor: Linear Nor Life 
18th April 2018

Day 15

I began wearing black garments only since the 3rd April in order to activate a process of mourning in my body; to create a wearing of Western mourning symbology within the body; to force my body to grieve at conscious and unconscious levels. The first days were unbearable as my body is not habituated to wear so much black for so long and I must add that I sensed a sort of concern for myself in wearing too much black as I have studied chromotherapy long enough to learn that colors must not be abused like anything in life. However, this context here is different and it required my full use of black since it symbolized for me a journey into the unknown and a full embrace of such notion. 
Black garments became heavy onto the body as the process of mourning crystallized over the days and the memories of my objects of mourning intensified more and more until I got reconnected with anger and brutal sadness invaded my skin and pores and flesh and visceral heart. I grew tired of black and frustrated at black and couldn’t breathe any more black at times. I saw myself wanting to drop naked in the middle of a busy street in Aalborg and run in the sun bare-skin. I longed for white garments more and more as white gives me hyper-focusness and order.. I longed for the focus of white as my head went in several directions at the same time. The mind entered the subconscious with no warning and stayed there for a while. I would be very strict with black and wearing it always when i am outside and not wearing it when i go to bed and wake up and do my morning rituals. But even that changed later. Black took over my bed and morning rituals too.
Dreams have been recorded since the 3rd April to track the process at unconscious level too and to interpret what was happening. I observed that my dreams were not so cryptic as before or perhaps it was more a case of my intuition suddenly becoming more refined over the days so i could immediately decode certain things I couldn’t decode before in my dreams. Both levels of consciousness and subconsciousness began to synchronize slowly and deeply resulting in emotional attuning so strong I began to embrace unexpected joy and found unconditional love for myself in there. 
I grew comfort with black now and it became a second skin I cannot rip away. I never thought this would be the outcome. I imagined that I rather would grow hate towards black and that it would be always something so forceful. 
I took black to images as well changing every social media profile with b&w old pictures of myself naked in the dark. My black body in the darkness of a black background.

Gallery Stack (click on the photo on the right to see the rest)

Photo documentation for performance made at SPLAB Det Jyske Kunst Akademiet, 10-13 January 2019, Aarhus, Denmark